Morgan

1) Are you in a complicated relationship? no
2) Do you hate more than 3 people? I dont really think i hate anyone..
4) How many houses have you lived in? two
5) Favorite candy bar? kitkat
6) Have you ever tripped someone? maybe but not on purpose
7) Least favorite school subject? gym
8) How many pairs of shoes do you own? not that many..its not really my thing
9) Do you own a Britney Spears CD? yes, its the sometimes single haha.
10) Have you ever thrown up in public? hm..i dont think so
11) Name one thing that is always on your mind: school
12) Favorite genre of music? i cant pick
13) Whats your zodiac sign? aries
14) What time were you born? they dont remember
15) Do you like beer? sometimes
16) Have you made a prank phone call? yes, yes i have.
17) What is the most embarassing CD you own? ummm 98 degrees
18) Are you sarcastic? sometimes.
19) What are your favorite color(s)? brown...teal...black..
20) How many watches do you own? one. its broken.
21) Summer or winter? depends. but both is good
22) Is anyone in love with you? i dont think so.
23) Favorite color to wear? black
24) Pepsi or Sprite? neither
26) Where is your second home? hm...my dorm i guess but not for much longer..
27) Have you ever slapped someone? nah
29) How many lamps are in your bedroom? one
30) How many video games do you own? a bunch...they are at home.
31) First pet you owned? a cat. Mickey.
32) Ever had braces? yes. not fun.
33) Do looks matter? depends.
34) Do you use chapstick? yes
35) Name 3 teachers from high school? mcnulty, mrs blissmer and mr rose
36) American Eagle or Abercrombie? Ae
37) Are you too forgiving? yeah its a problem
38) How many children do you want? 2 or 3
39) Do you own something from Hot Topic? probobly
40) Favorite breakfast meal? cereal. yayyy
41) Do you own a gun? nope. ive never even held a real gun actually..
42) Ever thought you were in love? yes
43) When was the last time you cried? today
44) What did you do last night? umm watched a movie
45) Olive Garden? yummy
46) Have you ever called your teacher mommy? i dont think so
47) Have you ever been in a castle? yes, scotland
48) Nicknames? Morgs
50) Ever been to Kentucky? no. random.
52) Are you thinking about somebody right now? sort of.
53) Ever called somebody Boo? no. lol
54) Do you smoke? not ciggerettes
55) Do you own a diamond ring? nah
56) Are you happy with your life right now? trying
57) Do you like your hair? yes
58) Does anyone have a crush on you? im not sure
60) What were you doing in May of 1994? ummmm i was in 3rd grade i guess?
61) Do you own a Backstreet Boys CD? no
62) Mcdonalds or Wendys? mcdonalds.
63) Do you like yourself? sure
64) Are you closer to your mother or father? mom
65) Favorite physical feature of the preferred sex? i duno eyes i guess.
66) Are you afraid of the dark? not anymore
67) Have you ever eaten paste? dont hitnk so
68) Do you own a webcam? no
69) Have you ever stripped? not like..for the public..
70) Ever broke a bone? yes, yes i did
71) Are you religious? nope.
72) Do you chat on AIM often? yes, yes i do
73) Pringles or Lays? pringles
74) Have you ever broken someones heart? yes, but i didnt know...until way later..
75) Full house or brady bunch? full house
77) Did you like your high school guidance counselor? half and half
78) Has anyone ever called you a tease? yes
79) Do you have any pets? yes, calvin.
80) Do you own a car? yea, my bug. my dad calls it peter.
81) Can you cook? sure
82) 3 things that annoy you? people on their cell phones when they shouldnt be, loosing service on my phone, and being ignored
83) Do you text message often? yes, yes i do
84) Money or love? love...what kind of quetion is that
85) Do you have any scars? i think so
86) What do you want more than anything right now? to be tired
87) Do you enjoy scary movies? yea sometimes
88) Relationships or one night stands? relationships.
89) Big red or Juicy fruit? bigred
90) Do you enjoy greasy food? not relaly
91) Have you seen all the Rocky movies? no, ive seen none of them
92) Do you own a box of crayons? yes, my dad got them for me.
93) Ever had sex in a public place? yes yes i have
94) Who was the last person you said i love you to? my mom
95) Who was the last person that made you mad? my brother
96) Who was the last person that made you cry? my brother
97) Who was the last person that made you laugh? courtney
98) Who was the last person that texted you? shaun
99) Who was the last person that called you? lyndsy
100) Who's your cell phone provider? verizon

i'm not gonna lie..
its getting harder and harder to breath.

please get better soon...

i stole this from my lynsday.



"As we grow up, we learn that even the one
person that wasn't supposed to ever let you down
probably will. You will have your heart broken probably
more than once and it's harder every time. You'll
break hearts too, so remember how it felt when yours
was broken. You'll fight with your best friend. You'll
blame a new love for things an old one did. You'll cry
because time is passing too fast, and you'll
eventually lose someone you love. So take too many
pictures, laugh too much, and love like you've never been
hurt because every sixty seconds you spend upset is a
minute of happiness you'll never get back."

i want to leave here
but at the same time im terrified
does that make sence?
what the fuck
seriously..this has been the worst summer ever.
i truly hope things get better. and im trying to help my self to make them better
but things like to blow up in my face.
i want to go to bed and not wake up. but instead im going to bed and waking up to my last day home
is this a good thing or a bad thing?
how many people have spent three months of their life in their bed by choice?
fuck. its the only word i can seem to say.

In the last 24 Hours have you...
1. Had sex: no
2. Bought something: yes
3. Gotten sick: no
4. Sang: yes
5. Been kissed: no
6. Ate something: yes
7. Felt stupid: yup
8. Talked to an ex: yep. gr.
9. Missed someone: yes.
___________________________________________________

Last person who....
1. Slept in your bed: me
2. Saw you cry: shuman+bucci
3. Made you cry: this CUNT. yea. i called her a cunt.
4. Went to the movies with: ben actually
5. You went to the mall with: mum

Have You Ever...
1. Said "I Love You" and meant it: once.
2. Got in a fight with your pet: yes. he bites.
3. Been to California: no
4. Been to Mexico: no
5. Been to Canada: yes
6. Been to Europe: yes
____________________________________________________

Random.....

1. Do you have a crush on someone: no
2. What book are you reading now: umm..none actually. werid.
3. Worst feeling in the world: cramps. broken heart.
4. Future KIDS names: zoie bella
5. Do you sleep with a stuffed animal: yes, heart beat bear
6. What's under your bed: nothing
7. Favorite sports to watch: baseball
8. Location: Burriville
9. Piercing/Tattoos: ears, wrist + foot tattoo
10. Do you drink: sometimes
11. What are you most scared of right now: my self.
12.Where do you want to get married: around here ish
13. Who do you really hate: depression
14. Do you have a job: no.
15. Do you like being around people: sometimse.
16. Have you ever liked someone you had no chance with: yes. zack hanson
17. Have you ever cried: you are born crying.
18. Are you lonely right now: yes. it happens.
19. Song that's stuck in your head a lot: bright eyes.
21. Played strip poker: yes
22. Gotten beaten up: no
23. pulled an all-nighter: yes....i dont want to think about it.
24. Been on radio/TV: yes, i won concert tickets
25. Been in a mosh-pit: yes, curtis pulled me + shuman out
26. Do you have any gay/lesbian friends: yes
27. Was this worth your time: yes


♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

10 Favorites...
Favorite Color: brown
Favorite Food: cheese
Favorite Band/Singer: counting crows, adam durtiz
Favorite Song: anna begins
Favorite Movie: garden state
Favorite Sport: baseball
Favorite Season: fall
Favorite Day Of the Week: friday
Favorite Ice Cream Flavor: oatmeal
Favorite Time of Day: nighttime

9 Currents...
Current Mood: frump
Current Taste: not sure
Current Clothes: undies and a tshirt
Current Desktop: me+kcs tattoos
Current Toenail Color: none
Current Time: 239 am
Current Surroundings: my room
Current Annoyance(s): alot of things
Current Thought: tired...

8 Firsts...
First Best friend: Laura Ginish/ Cassie Goryl
First Screen Name: tunes415 hahaha
First Pet: cat
First Piercing: ears when i was 5
First Crush: ryan smith haha, preschool
First Music You Remember hearing: my dad singing to me

7 Lasts...
Last Cigarette: um...the fire the other night..clove.
Last Drink: shumans apartment
Last Car Ride: a few hours ago
Last Movie: varsity blues
Last CD Played: spill canvas
Last movie you saw in a theatre: taledaga nights

6 Have You Evers....
Have You Ever Dated One Of Your Best Friends: yes. dont do it.
Have You Ever Broken the Law: i guess
Have You Ever Been Arrested: no, almost in VT?
Have You Ever Skinny Dipped: yes haha
Have You Ever Been on TV: i dont know
Have You Ever Kissed Someone You Didn't Know: nope

5 Things....
5 Things You can hear right now:
1. music
2. fan
3. other fan
4. clicking
5. my chair

4 Places You've Been...
1. england
2. scottland
3. canada
4. my bed

3 People You Can Tell Anything To:
1. heather
2. shuman
3. cassie

2 Choices...
1. Pepsi or coke? coke
2. die alone/ for the one i love: for the one I love

1 Thing You Want to Do Before you die:
1. travel the world

♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥

01. When you look at yourself in the mirror, what's the first thing you look at? im not sure
02. How much cash do you have on you? 10 i think
03. What's a word that rhymes with "TEST"? best
04. Favorite plant? bambooo
05. Who is the 4th person on your missed call list on your cell? justine bucci
06. What is your main ring tone on your phone? jimmy eat world
07. What shirt are you wearing? a blue tshirt
08. Do you "label" yourself, could you? umm..i have no idea.
09. Name brand of your shoes currently wearing?: no shoes
10. Bright or Dark Room? depends
11. What do you think about the person who took this survey before you?
12. Ever "spilled the beans"? i guess
13. What were you doing at midnight last night? in my bed angry becuase we lost power
14. What did your last text message you received on your cell phone say?: i can go on my phone i dotn feel like going down two flights of stairs
15. Do you ever click on "Pop Ups" or Banners? no
16. What's a saying that you say a lot? defenitly
17. Who told you they loved you last? my mommy
18. Last furry thing you touched? calvin
19. How many hours a week do you work? non
20. How many rolls of film do you need to get developed? none
21. Favorite age you have been so far? 18
22. Your worst enemy? no one i guess
23. What is your current desktop picture? me+kc
24. What was the last thing you said to someone? thats not the kind of girl i am i guess
25. If you had to choose between a million bucks or to be able to change a major regret? i dont know

I want to paint my face
and pretend that I am someone else
Sometimes I get so fed up
I don't even wanna look at myself

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I hate the way you look at me I have to say
I wish I could start over

I am slowly falling apart
I wish you'd take a walk in my shoes for a start
And you might think its easy being me
You just stand still, look pretty

Sometimes I find myself shaking
in the middle of the night
And then it hits me and I can't
even believe this is my life

But people have problems that are worse than mine
I don't want you to think I'm complaining all the time
And I wish that everyone would go an shut their mouth
I'm not strong enough to deal with it

i want that feeling where i want to jump out of my skin to go away.
god this fucking hurts.
go awayyyyyy

Im ready to go back to school
ive been trying to spend as muhc time with my parents as possible becuase i know its going to be hard being away from them
they helped me alot this summer. even if they drive me crazy.
espically my mum...im not sure what im goign to do being away from her
i tell her all the time she keeps me sane..
and Brendan. who will i play trains with? haha
Tomorrow is Austin's baptism. i have to get up early
and its 137. haha. whatever
i got drunkydrunk with Bucci and Shuman last night.
bucci and i poured our hearts out to eachother. man i love that woman.
i truly hope things work out well for her.
cassies leaving soon. this is not okay.
shumies apartment = fabulous.
i miss kacey. she will be here tomorrow, which makes me excited. i have seen her twise this summer.
this summer has def. been awful, and im ready to go back to school to hopefully start something new.
i never expected for this to be the way they are, and ive some how lost alot of friends, who i really miss. Its werid how things end up. but i hope that its not the actual end of the friendships.
i like my new userpic. i liked it enough to have it my picture on myspace and facebook too. haha.
time to curl up in my bed.



"And Morgan says, maybe love won't let you down
All of your failures are training grounds
And just as your back's turned you'll be surprised she says
As your solitude subsides"

I found this in an article about depression. It was advice to be given to friends of people who are depressed. i found it interesting, and the wording was so perfect to fit into my life. i agree with it. and it bascially happened.

"5. Sympathy vs Empathy vs Tough Love.

a. Sympathy for the depressed person is many times expressed as how you feel about their situation. "I am sorry that you are in this mess, and I wish I could do something to help you" Sympathy might be briefly expressed, but don't dwell on it, as the emphasis is on you and your feelings.

b. Empathy, on the other hand, is to express the desire to know more about how they feel. In order to genuinely show empathy for the depressed person you must LISTEN to what they have to say and what they are feeling, without being judgmental or overly directive.

c. I adhere to the basic concept of Tough Love, where you express your genuine regard for a person by encouraging them to take charge of their life and solve their own problems. But, when dealing with a depressed person, this approach will most times back fire and will alienate your friend, possibly causing further depression."

So summer is almost over. And its been by far the most fucked up it could of been. So much sleeping. I supose thats all i can say about that.
Lately ive been getting really nervious about school. Im really ready to leave, and see new people. Something about the people here isnt going over well. But i will miss my girls.
But at the same time i hate being away from home, espically when im so unsure about things, and espically when i feel so sick all the time.
i feel really stuck, where i dont know if things can get better with me being here, but i also dont know if they can get better me going away.
in gernal im really scared, and im frusterated becuaes im trying so hard to make things better but nothing is getting accomplished.
Im still haivng these awful dreams that make me wake up and wonder if they are true, and make me relize so many things about alot in my life.
Im good at ending up in bad situations, but ive found its easier to just block out people and try to avoid them.
there is no reason for me to be a substitute girl.
there is on reason to feel bad about your self.
i miss my sister.
i knew when i left for school that things were never going to be the same. I think i feel like one of those football dads that are living in the past, and are upset becuase they fucked up that one game-winning-play. I feel like i fucked up something. Well i know i did. and its actually a list of things. But i cant let it take me over, i just need to get through it.
Im tired. I havnt cried in so long becuase i cant. Only one thing makes me cry. and its been the easiest thing to avoid.
i wish this summer didnt happen. but at the same time maybe it will make me apreciate the good things in my life more more.
i was looking at pictures from florida and i think i look like a completely different person
im trying really hard..i miss a lot of people. I dont want people to feel like they are afraid to talk to me.
if you want to talk to me, then do it! im open, i miss people, and i feel like im always by my self.
My girlfriends are the only ones who i talk to often..its in their job description to spend time iwth me =)
Im making a quilt.
I think that through this summer maybe i can peice everything together, and accomplish something for once. We will see how it comes out.
school in less then a month.
i miss k-ells
i jsut dont want to fuck up this up

<3 and i know you have a heavy heart, i can feel it when we kiss

cheaaaatttterrrrrrrr
liiiiiierrrrrrrrr
guiltyyyyy
guiltyyyy
guiltyyyyyy

i want someone to watch the sunrise with.


i need to find more people like me...


why does kristen have to be 6 hours away..

Wanted: Hopless Romantic Boy. Likes to write. Passion for Music. Has to have rhythm. doesnt mind that im emotional/sensative/rediculous sometimes. Has a passion for seeing everything. Likes to go on walks and take pictures. Enjoys Cuddling. Doesnt mind that im short and stubby. Apreciates blue eyes and curly hair. Doesnt mind the city. Is shy, but not too shy. Doesnt mind that i like girly things, becuase i am a girl. Likes my bug. Likes to paint. Keeps a Journal...besides this one. Can put up with the fact that i cannot spell. WIll enjoy my girlfriends. likes/understands my love for coffee. likes tatoos.

First day of work tomorrow.
so far, i have no opnions about summer.
im going day to day not really sure what im suposed to expect from each.
i have no expectations for the summer, this way, i cannot be disapointed.
i miss kristen a lot. its hard not having her with me.
i have my sister home for 15 days even tho shes not relaly here for the 15 days.
girlfriends are all a girl really needs....plus scott+chris, but their my girlfriends.
i havnt slept since friday night.
goodnight.


"You begin to forget what it means to live. You forget things. You forget that you used to feel all right. You forget what it means to feel all right because you feel like shit all of the time, and you can’t remember what it was like before. People take the feeling of full for granted. They take for granted the feeling of steadiness, of hands that do no shake, heads that do not ache."

ummmm...

I WIN

"If you want a rainbow, you've got to put up with the rain."

Note to self: stay away from boys with girlfriends

"Happy Birthday Morgan.

We're selling the house."

great.

my roomates surprised me and made me a batman cake last night

birthdays are fun..